8 Months, and boy time is flying!

I’m not regular with the baby updates, but since this past month has been so filled with activity, I would like to put it on record before my mummy amnesia gets to it. This month there has been a lot of crawling, pulling and pushing herself up to standing, loving cereal (not so much porridge) and most things that I put in it including pork and liver (!), feeding herself puffs and pinching them pretty well – even picking them off her clothes or the floor, shaking and beating toys together and going from practically no water at all to drinking (some) water from a straw. For a total breast fed baby I am also so surprised and relieved that she takes to holding her own bottles of formula between feeds (heng ah!!).

“I want in, boys!”

She’s at that age where she’s the picture of the quintessential baby in milk formula and other ads touting healthy or brainy babies, and every day I think that this must be the cutest age. With so many changes happening and so quickly, I often wish that she could stay this way for longer. Adding to this desire is my two boys who too are learning so many new things everyday. Abacus is speaking and singing so so much more now since he started school earlier this year, and looks like he might be riding a bicycle soon. Mittens has already dropped one of his milk teeth, learnt to swim and ride a bicycle, and is acting more and more like a little man these days. The other day he sat in his father’s chair at work, leaned back and folded his arms at the back of his head and declared, “I’m the boss!”.

Grandma with her brood (the older girl is my niece, but she could make a twin for Abacus!)

Toddler-hood, although strained by tantrums and other physically and emotionally demanding challenges on us parents, are undoubtedly the period that children are at their cutest. Apparently the scientific explanation for their chubbiness and big eyes and disproportionate head to body ratio is because we’re tuned to like “cute” things, and that cues the motherly instincts to ensure the survival of the next generation.

And toddlers certainly are a tough bunch to look after, requiring so much patience and understanding from us parents. Having a baby around, as a comparison and watching her grow, has been a stark reminder of just how fast things change. I hope that during these days of chaos now, I’ll remember to treasure each moment and each day, living in the moment with them, before they’re gone too soon.

The passage of life

Bump #1

I have never had to go on a diet. Yes, you heard that right – never ever ever! In primary school I was teased (just a little) as underweight, and I had to take that horrible medicine for worms just in case I really did have worms. My mother was a little insulted by that because I did eat, and lots, and as for the teasing, she told me “He who laughs last has the best laugh”, which at that time confused me more than it helped.

As I grew older, I realised I did have the last laugh, and enjoyed the days of not having to worry about my shape or what I ate. But, as you mummies will know, pregnancy changes your body in so many ways. With the boys I was lucky that I didn’t balloon into a Michelin man, although my body “grew” in size – the hips and rib caged widened to accommodate the needs of the babies. Which was relatively fine.

Both boys were delivered at a decent 3.1kg, but with the girl I actually lost 1kg in the first trimester, which isn’t a lot. Some mummies lose even more in the first trimester, but I wanted her to be of a decent size of at least her brothers’ weight if not more. So when my appetite started to return (before that I barely eat one-third of a meal), I made it a point to eat as much as I could, whenever I could! In the last trimester I even calculated how many weeks I had left, what the weight gain was like each week, to estimate the size and make sure I was on track to exceeding 3kg. Thankfully my get-fat-diet worked, and she was delivered already sporting chubby cheeks and lotus root arms at 3.87kg. I certainly outdid myself!

Look at those cheeks!!

And now, flash forward 8 months later to today, no more baby in the belly, of course all that eating has also left me with horrible flabby tummy. I can live with being a dress size or two (or three) larger, but the tummy, oh the flabby tummy! It just annoys me to no end.

And of course I would love to have a personal trainer or be on a strict diet or have the energy to do sit ups, which I could possibly do at the expense of the house burning down or the boys killing each other while I’m not watching but really don’t have the energy and time to. I am, however, trying to eat in moderation and more healthily.

I know, I’ve whined about my post-pregnancy body before, but this post is not about so much about that. Today, I came across a very lovely and poetic account of the changes our bodies have to go through in motherhood - These are the lines of a story by Mary Martin Weins. It really really moved me, and I hope you will like it too.

Review: My Happy Feet

My name is Ed and I am so addicted to foot reflexology massages. It started maybe 7 or 8 years ago, when a friend of mine introduced me to a very local Chinese massage place. After that there was no turning back. The thing I love about foot massages is that you feel rather refreshed, yet drowsy, and all warm and tingly, a little like how a good (not too tiring) yoga session leaves you. It’s almost like getting your insides massaged! In a sense. The theory behind it is that a part or area of the foot (hands and ears, too!) corresponds to an organ or another area of the body. So massaging your foot is really like giving your insides a little massage too.

And after so many years, I have had so many types of foot and body massages – from the excruciating (there is one in Katong known for their qigong which leaves grown men literally cringing in their seats) to the ones in places like Bangkok, where they are a fraction of the price, but also display a fraction of strength and experience. I have long decided that I like spas which don’t necessarily provide the most elaborate ambiance, but deliver good massages, be it body or foot. Who wants to be paying extra for ambiance? I’d much rather the money go toward the masseur making sure that I’m a happy customer! And being the cheapskate (or would that be masochist?) that I am, I’m not satisfied until I feel suitable beaten and battered. So many times those Bangkok ones just leave me feeling as if I’ve been teased a little. So not shiok.

One of the places I’ve really been loving recently is a gem of a place opened by my friend M, called My Happy Feet, at Holland Village. It’s convenient, and usually it’s pretty easy to get a slot, which is so important when you have a “hectic” schedule and need to make impromptu bookings. Is it possible to plan anything ahead when you have kids? And apart from foot massages, or Footworks as they call it, they also do Bodyworks. And they do everything well. I’ve been there for foot and body massages, prenatal massages, and even for therapeutic massages (alternating it with tui na) when I pulled something in my back trying to carry Abacus into his car seat and couldn’t   walk without shooting pain. I’m lucky I never have elephant feet during pregnancy, but my legs do bear a lot of the weight, so they definitely feel the stress, and from the last trimester for Scout up till now, with carrying her all over the place, I have to literally put my legs up at the end of the day! So I’m glad I have a go-to place to help ease these pains of motherhood.

They’ve recently just moved to new premises in Holland Village so they’re now in a spanking new place just above Haagen Dazs, and will be opening an outlet at Purvis St. soon. Now if only I could tear the baby away from my side for an hour or two my feet would be a lot happier than they are now!!

My Happy Feet
21A Lorong Mambong
Holland Village
Singapore 277680
Tel: 64620525

Open Daily
M – F: 11am to 9pm
Sat: 10am to 10pm
Sun/PH: 10am to 9pm

31 Purvis Street
Tel: 63339953

Open Daily
M – F: 1030am to 830pm
Sat/Sun: 10am to 8pm

Disclaimer: I was not paid or sponsored for this review and am sharing this on my own accord. Man, just writing about it makes me feel like I need a good rub down, stat! All photos are courtesy of My Happy Feet, because I hardly even have time for my own massage. That’s the life of a mother, but hey I’m always glad I even manage to get out of the house!

Taking a different view

Hey, you look different!

Being a mother, being a parent, has brought out the best, and the worst in me. It is amazing to think that you’ve created another living being, and oh the joy they bring, and all of the learning that you go through on this journey! And then there’s the dark side. I have never been so quick tempered, frustrated, impatient, etc etc until I had children. And to make it worse, you have to try and control all these emotions to an acceptable level (we don’t want to be totally emotionless!). Hey, even Darth Vader cut off Luke’s hand!

Recently two mummies wrote very good accounts of how a little change in perspective has helped them in their journey, at Scissors Paper Stone and the Tan Family Chronicles. I recently had an epiphany of sorts that has also helped me tremendously. I wrote a little about it in my previous post, but I’ll elaborate a little more.

I’ve come to realise and take the perspective that each and every moment I have with the kids, is a teaching moment in everything that we do. It really helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so that in the good and the bad, the fights, the happy moments, and even the menial tasks, I take the time and patience to explain to them what is wrong, what is right, or even explain what it is. I find it particularly helpful in times of distress like during fights, when I can emphasize sharing and perhaps the rules (“No throwing toys, we don’t want to hurt your brother”), and I make the extra effort to be mindful to reinforce positive qualities, laud efforts (keeping in mind to not praise too much) but yet stay firm and reinforce discipline, and try and slip in little nuggets of knowledge where I can (“Hey, see those tress? They’re rain trees. Isn’t it lovely to have so many trees by the side of the road?”). It gives me a little more patience when dealing with 393627 questions, especially those incessant “why”s.

There are certainly days (or moments within the days), where are extremely trying, but overall I’m beginning to get in the zone of less quick temperedness and more fun moments. And even if the the kids are not intentionally responding better to a gentler approach, I’m sure they appreciate being shouted at less. I have been enjoying my time with them a whole lot more to the extent that I sometimes feel that between taking care of all the logistics of getting the monkeys fed, watered, bathed, napped, and in bed early enough so they won’t be tired at school the next day, there never seems to be enough time to do all the fun things I want them to do with them.

Of course, I still have my dragon mother moments, and I’m glad The Gingerbread Mum brought the Orange Rhino Challenge to my attention. It’s one mother’s challenge not to yell for 365 days. There are rules, there are parameters (you can yell if it’s urgent, like GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THE CAR!), and there are plenty of entertaining and practical tips to keep your cool. Some mummies and I liked “Yell into a closet” instead of yelling at the kids.

Parenting sure is an arduous journey, and epiphanies and change, doesn’t come easy. The wonderful thing about being a parent is that every day we get to start over and try again. If you feel you’re in need of some change, I hope you can find the inspiration for it soon. I leave you with a lovely re-hash of the 10 Things Every Child Needs, which I blogged about a year ago, but it now comes in a lovely readable chart. It’s a great reminder to put the child and the child’s interests and needs at the centre of everything we do.

I know I can be a better mummy, and so help me God, I am so going to die trying!

 

Image from Focus on the Family Malaysia.

7 months

My little girl has turned 7 months! I thought that it would get easier as the days went by, but I was wrong. The boys are always fighting, and add to that Scout is only getting heavier, and has been having separation anxiety since she was 4 months. I indulge her because it’s a natural instinct since I’m with her 24/7, and I’m where the milk is. And I know that she’ll grow up all too soon, but I am so so thankful and in awe of my dear hubby who will handle both boys on his own when he’s around so that I don’t get too stretched trying to juggle everything and everyone with Miss Clingy attached to my hip.

Her 2-3 hour naps have disappeared in favour of 45minute ones, which usually includes nursing, so sometimes that means I get like 5 minutes to run around and do anything before she’s up again. I hope the tide will change soon and suspect it’s because she’s been going through some major milestones recently, which might be affecting her sleep. She didn’t flip much, in favour of sitting, much thanks to the boys who provide so much entertainment she’s rather sit up and watch the entertainment – and my PD agrees with me on this. So now she has been sitting steadily for quite a while, and can even push up from lying to sitting. She is now on her fours, already inching herself forward, again credit to the boys because I’m convinced she’s really trying to crawl away from them. Or towards them to snatch their toys. Oh and she’s attempting to pull herself up. Quite the busy bee, she is!

She is still as calm as ever – earlier today Abacus was trying to roll her across the floor – something I do with them when they’re older, and there weren’t any complaints from her. But she’s quite the grabber, and will express her displeasure if you try and pry things out of her grasp.

Although it’s usually madness around here, so often I look at them and think that even though they would beg to differ, they are so so lucky to have each other. The boys share my joy as she grows and acquires new skills, and sometimes take to teaching or explaining things to her. She is one lucky girl

 

 

Staycation: St. John’s Island

Between St. John’s and Lazarus islands

After reading in the ST about the one bungalow on St. John’s Island and wanting to relive one of their trips years ( or decades?) ago, my FIL made the arrangements for a short getaway. They were staying for 3 nights but we joined for only one.

Despite its unsavory past of cholera, beri-beri and leprosy quarantine, drug-rehab and prison, it is usually bustling with activity during the day with campers and 2 research institutes located on the island. I thought the 2 prison blocks still standing there was a little creepy though.

The bungalow is a quaint and very basic. There are 4 bedrooms which can accommodate up to 10 pax, one double room, one room with 2 bunk beds, and the other 2 rooms are twin rooms. The kitchen is in a kind of outhouse and they provide a fridge, kettle, rice cooker, stove, and most cooking utensils. Everything else you need to bring. The best part is that the rooms are air conditioned! There is no hot water, but we made do for the kids. Btw, a baby bath is (kind of!) provided.

The boys liked walking along and playing at the beach, and chasing the chickens and chicks around. We haven’t been to any kind of farm since Mittens was really young, so live chickens are a treat.

You can find the ferry schedule here, and weekdays they only run 2 ferries a day, although there are other chartered ferries for the researchers and staff. Our ferry back stopped at Kusu Island for an hour – it’s well kept, and probably idyllic for a picnic, but I was hoping for some interesting turtles but they looked mostly like terrapins that people had let loose.

Overall, quite an experience, but I was so SO glad to come back to my own bed.

St. John’s Island

Bungalow “53″

Living room

Kids!

Bedroom

Bedroom

Kitchen

Dining area

Beach

The boys were still in their PJs to avoid getting bitten by mosquitoes.

Kusu Island

Terrapins. I mean, turtles.

Style Essence Giveaway results

After our lovely makeover session organized by Style Essence, they were so enthusiastic to help change more lives that they’re giving away three makeover sessions to my readers. Aww, I feel so loved! And privileged! Thank you, Flo Mummy!

So here are the winners, picked by my little sweetheart who almost refused to give me the papers I’d written the names on because she wanted to eat them. So in no particular order, please keep your Oscar speech short, are:

• Agy
• S Lee
• Seow Shi

Woohoo! I hope you’ll find the workshop useful. I think my skin is already slowly getting better from learning how to wash my face the correct way (wth have I been doing all these years?! Argh!), and I’ve needed to update a lot of my facial care and makeup items (because they have a shelf life), so it was very timely session for me.

Style Essence will contact you regarding the details of the workshop.

XOXO!