family life

Another year gone…

This was our view of the fireworks off Mt Faber. Somehow I couldn’t upload the video of the fireworks, so this random photo will have to do.

 

We spent a quiet evening at home with the boys, in our own place (as opposed to camping out at the ILs). It was a lovely evening, with dinner made by the hubbs and we let E stay up to watch the fireworks, so I had plenty of time to potter around the house doing housework until midnight. The next day we also spent the evening at home, and the hubbs cooked dinner again, and thankfully even helped out with some of the washing (including washing the stove!), otherwise I would have just been swamped after putting the boys to sleep.

 

This year, apart from a number of lessons that I learnt in a previous post, here are a few other random things I’ve learnt:

 

Confinment.

Although I don’t subscribe to the post natal confinement as akin to house arrest, although I’m sure there are many who would, I’ve come to realise why this month is so important. As fit and hardy as I thought I was, traipsing up and down 3-4 times a day to the hospital, barely a week from delivery, and walking a fair distance each time to and fro the car park to the ward, really really tired me out. Thankfully we eventually found a much shorter and easier route to the ward. If anyone is even remotely interested, the fastest way to the NUH Paeds ICU or wards 45-49 (or something like that) is to valet park up the hill just outside ward 48, or park at Kent Ridge Wing and walk over through the 4th floor.

 

Be happy at work.

Strangely enough, the visits to the hospital always make me think about this, because I have yet to encounter anyone grouchy there. Most people are super friendly, which makes me wonder what kind of drugs they’re on. Or perhaps there’s something in the air that’s piped in? Even the pharmacist who thought I was looking to buy an umbrella (it was Abrilla cough medicine I was after), or the lady working in the pharmacy on our last visit who was helping me with the QV creams, and because I left baby A by the side of the cashier’s Q, when he got a little fussy, she picked him up to appease him (looking at me for approval first, of course).  Maybe she’s one of the same ladies who on our first visit at the pharmacy (the one next to Clinic A), were already coo-ing at A’s full head of hair when he was about a month old. Even his own PD sometimes takes him from me just to carry him. And that one time I brought A for a Plastics consult, one of the nurses talked to me so long I actually wondered if she was doing the background check before I saw the doctor.

I’m glad that I’ve left my old job because I wasn’t truly happy there. I wasn’t fond of the work, the clients, the way the organisation was run, and although it’s only been 8 months since I left, it feels like a whole different universe that I couldn’t go back to.

 

Two peas in a pod.

I thought I’d be pretty prepared to have a second child, but boy was I unprepared for how the change in family dynamics. And unfortunately, we’re still suffering the ill side effects of attention seeking, tantrums, night wakings.. Apparently it can take up to a  year for things to settle down, but I can’t imagine suffering another 5 months of this. At any rate, it’s been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life – the most challenging and the most tiring. They say it’s also the most rewarding, but I’ve yet to overcome the fatigue to experience that! :p

 

Redefining relationships.

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships this year. About my marriage, and what I want in a marriage, to my role as a mother and wife, and in general about marriages and friendships. As with most people I do know a couple of people who are divorced, but one in particular was a bit of a shocker, and it really got me thinking about marriage. Another person was married the day after us, but is already on to her second husband. Wow.

On another note, I’ve also been thinking about the excitement and spontaneity, the thrills and the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, of new relationships and falling in love. In part I think these thoughts stem from the fact that my life is totally un-spontaneous now, and if I want to do anything remotely exciting I probably have to plan at least 3 days in advanced and confer with 3 other people. Pretty pathetic if I may say so..

On friendships, I don’t mind birthdays and I like getting older because I feel more at ease with myself, and less interested in pleasing people just because. I think though, that I’m still more reserved with my friends than I’d really like to be, so that’s a resolution for the new year. I have also found that I’m a bit less forgiving towards people who just don’t seem to be worth the effort – I have a limited amount of energy, and I’m sure as hell busy with a lot of other things, so I’d rather just steer clear of the black sheep. I mean, for people who just can’t wait to rain on your parade, you’re certainly going to be on my Limited Profile list.

 

I’ve also found that you never know. You just never know. Some will disappoint, and some will surprise. And while I left 2010 with a slight sour tinge in my mouth, there have been no regrets – ok maybe not NO regrets, but nothing I could not live with. And so, here we are now, with a whole year to make everything right. And let’s hope all of us make the best of it 🙂

 

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