With the gastroenteritis still lingering, last night was quite a tough one. Abacus couldn’t settle himself to sleep well, and I spent quite a bit of time at night trying to help him, and in the end both boys were clowning around in the room with Grandma until I managed to get both to sleep at about 1130. I barely had time to finish a few work emails when at 1145 I heard an “explosion”. Abacus wasn’t even awake yet, but I had to pull him out of bed to have his bum washed. Then I spent some time rocking him again to get him to bed. Repeat exercise at 315am and 715am. Thank goodness he was sleeping next to me (so action was swift), and Grandma was looking after Mittens if he should wake.
This morning it felt like nothing was going right – Mittens was acting up, Abacus was sticky as usual (he might be part koala), and my helper seemed extra slow. It was only after I managed to settle Abacus down to his afternoon nap, and managed to get 30mins myself that all started to feel better. He continued to sleep for 3 hours in total, and Mittens didn’t fuss about taking a nap either, so I had almost 2 hours to myself in the afternoon.
On days like these which are so exhausting, physically and emotionally, I’m so wistful for the life that my friends have – going for dinner and drinks after work, living in condos, driving convertibles (ok it ain’t that great because it messes up your hair, but that’s not the point), just basically what life used to be without kids. Or would be without kids. I definitely love the boys to bits, but I wish that parenting wasn’t so all consuming – if only it could be more moderate, rather than take over your entire life without any sign of reprieve.
But having said that, I know that I wouldn’t parent any other way (ok, although an earlier bed time for Mittens so I have a bit more ME time would be great), because I know I’m hands on, I wouldn’t want to be a weekend parent (I wouldn’t mind it for a weekend though!), and I think I’m pretty good at just doing it, like bringing both boys out on my own.
The fact remains that parenting is tiring business, and not just tiring, there’s also so little time for me to pamper myself too. Maybe for the next few Chinese New Years I should consider siphoning away some of their ang pow money for dark circle treatments and the like :p