parenting

My previous life

Cheeky lot, these are.
Cheeky lot, these are.

I often use the term “my previous life” in reference to the life before I had kids. Many newbies think, “Oh when baby comes I’ll just fit him into my life/schedule/activities, and not let him run my life.”. (I said run, not ruin.) Well, we all know how that really ends up, don’t we?

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Parenting, especially newborns and small kids, can really take over your life. And the story is the same whether you’re a SAHM or a FTWM. SAHMs are with the kids all day and are always dying to have even 5 minutes alone just to pee or do something, anything, without a small body crawling/crying/calling after you. FTWMs are pandering to bosses/clients/whatever all day, then they get home to even bossier bosses.

Some days I feel like burying my head under my pillow and wishing everyone would just miraculously fall asleep on their own without me having to be a pacifier or story teller or [insert whatever else is required] to them and leave me to some time of my own. Then at other times I wish they would stop growing and just be as little as they are for longer.

Cuties
Cuties

After Scout was born, I thought, ok, now it can only get easier from here! Boy was I wrong. Lately it’s been a tad bit easier since she’s suddenly walking all over the place, so she doesn’t demand for her sedan chair (aka me) so much, and is happy to follow everyone around the house. But she’s also bigger, heavier, and very adamant about what she wants to do, so sometimes I need to carry her to get somewhere or do something but she WANTS TO BE PUT DOWN NOW NOW MUMMY! She also demands to be entertained (maybe I should learn balloon sculpting?), which in itself isn’t a difficult task, but add in two other rambunctious toddlers who all want to do something else, or want my attention at the same time, and even have trouble agreeing on which cartoon they want to watch, and you can see why I’m disgruntled about not having clones or more arms (3 kids, 2 arms. How liddat?).

At 4 days old
At 4 days old

Thankfully I’m beginning to see some light. This half of the year, hubby and I have been fortunate to have travelled (with and without the kids) quite often, with a few more trips before the end of the year, and I’m so grateful for good help at home. Scout sleeps longer and better with my helper and/or MIL (SO unfair!), but given that makes an easier job for them, and I get a bit of time without a sack of rice stuck to my hips (she’s probably heavier than that by now), I’m all for it.

Some days though, I’m still wistful of the care-free life when I had to think, “Oh what will I do with myself today?” rather than “Oh what will I do with the imps to keep them alive today?”. But I know, that when the day comes when I can have that care-free life again, I will be wishing for it not to be.

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9 thoughts on “My previous life

  1. Feeling the same sentiments even when DInoBoy is already 7 years old BUT its much easier at this age as we can be doing the same thing; reading, at the same time. When I’m out with friends I’ll be sure to get a Mum-What-Time-Will-You-Be-Back call fm him. So some how or rather ME time is connected to family =)

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  2. I like how you phrase about SAHM and FTWM. Seriously, Chubby and myself are thinking if we want a third one. We both think that two is not enough, but are we ready to handle more than 2? Like you mention, we have only 2 arms how to take care of 3 kids? So kudos to you who have the courage to go for the 3rd!

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    1. Well, I wanted to try because I didn’t want to regret later, and although it’s tough now, I know it will get easier. Some day! One day! Hopefully soon! 😉

      Since your two are quite close in age maybe you could consider waiting till they’re 4 or older ( so they’re more independent before trying?

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  3. I broke down in front of a group of ladies when I shared how tired I was about having this after-kid life. “I didn’t sign up for this.” But after I have calmed down, I realised I have indulged in self-pity and I needed to pull myself out of this situation. Thanks for sharing. I know it happens to all parents and I’m not the only one going through it.

    You have 3 kids. Me? Only ONE. Gua gua…

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    1. There are days when I wish everyone would just leave me alone, and others when I think I can absolutely handle another 3 kids. And sometimes this can all happen within the hour! It’s not easy lah, this parenting thing.

      And I completely know where you’re coming from. I thought 1 was the hardest thing ever, then I had 2, and was like, boy was I wrong before! And then with 3… To be fair it’s always a different set of challenges, and although people say it gets easier with 4 or more, I think I’m just going to take their word for it 😉

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      1. I’m still scared at the thought of having a second one…maybe I’m just weak. hahahah…but well, if it comes my way, then I’ll just have to thank God for it. 😉

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      2. Your little girl is still very young, so it’s perfectly normal. I don’t think I could even entertain the thought of another baby until the current baby was at least 18 months :p

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  4. That’s the irony-when our lives are so busy with the kids, we wished we had time away from them. But when we have those times of our own, we miss and think of them. I’m sure that when the kids are older, we’ll start wishing we have more of them again 🙂

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