I am starting a series of posts entitled Coping with Children, not because I’m a supermum or because I know it all, but I find it useful to read about how other mums manage as you can learn and pick up all kinds of tips! I would love to hear your thoughts or if you do have similar posts to share with everyone.
Many of the mummies active on FB would have seen this blog post by now, entitled “Mommy, somebody needs you.”
It’s a post that really spoke to so many of us. Parenting babies and young children requires so much effort, often a lot more than I feel I can give. In any given day, it’s easy to feel stretched and maxed out with everyone seeking attention. As I mentioned in my previous post, I sometimes feel as if I’m so busy looking after the 3 kids that I’m like a jack of all trades, master of none, i.e. I don’t feel accomplished or that I’ve done anything well in particular.
Each child on his own is completely manageable. But somehow, throw them all together and they tend to be even more needy, or prone to fighting. Our exceptionally sticky little Princess thinks that she has sole rights to me. No one else is allowed to sit on my lap, and I’m not even allowed to read to the boys as she’ll snatch the book away. Or, if I am reading to her and one of them tries to join in, she snatches the book away so the boy can’t see it. I can almost imagine her saying, “Hng!”. Good grief! Although all 3 can sometimes all play very well together, there are many times when Scout sees the boys vying for my attention, she gets extra whiney and wants attention too. She has even learnt to call out “MUHummmmm” like an older kid.
I know that the days of insanity will pass, but there are many days now when I feel as if I’m absolutely drowning. I’m no super mummy and I’ve realised that there are only so many things I can do! In fact, I have actually told the boys that I have my limitations, so in order to maintain order and sanity, they have to learn Mummy’s rules, such as:
- I cannot “hear” when everyone is talking to me at the same time, so if I’m talking to someone or doing something, please try to be patient and wait until I’m done rather than try to get my attention by saying “Mummy mummy” 15 times in a row. I know my husband doesn’t mind when they do the same to him, but I think it’s because he isn’t really listening anyway :p
- I won’t respond to anyone shouting for me from a room away – they need to come and look for me instead of shouting.
- I can’t talk on the phone and to someone else at the same time.
I already have help at home and I know many mummies do not! But each of us have our own capabilities, and knowing your limits is important. For me, I think I’m going to have to step up, and surrender at the same time. I need to focussing more on being in the moment with them, and since I can’t possibly multitask any more than I currently can, I’ll have to enlist the grandparents to hopefully shower them with more attention.
I think we’re getting used to each other, the kids and I. I know that sounds strange, but the dynamics are always changing as they grow older or when there are new additions to the family. They’re going to have to accept that I’m no super mummy, and in order for me to have a certain level of sanity, we have to meet halfway.
I would love to hear your thoughts on coping with children!