When Mummy Danessa first asked if I wanted to join the “Mummy’s Me time” blog train, I was hesitant. I’m not a big advocate of “me time” or even date nights – I prefer to head out for dinner with friends (as a couple), or just chill out at home with the husband when the kids are asleep, especially with some good wine. Or if there is no husband, good wine helps anyway!! Most of my errands are of necessity – hair cuts, massages because of a sprained back, facials so that I can look a little bit decent, etc. I can’t even be bothered with doing my nails because it always takes so long and will be gone soon enough.
Not only that, sometimes arranging the logistics with the babysitters (if necessary) is a whole task on its own! I seldom leave all 3 children with my helper alone, at the most it would be a half hour while they’re in front of the TV and I’m out getting groceries. And since the kids are in school, I feel bad if I have to head somewhere when they’re not in school. And although we are lucky that both my mother and MIL are usually somewhat free, I try not to bother them too much. Sometimes I also feel that for short errands, it’s like when you take leave at the office – there could be much preparation, and when I return I have more to do to make up for lost time, because I often find things in chaos! Here’s a wonderful little post I recently read on the misconceptions of “me time”.
But of course everyone needs to have some kind of indulgence, and it might sound contradictory to all I’ve mentioned, to tell you that my ultimate me time is going on holiday without the kids!
We have been extremely lucky that despite having three kids, the husband’s parents have been willing to help us out while we are on holiday. Last month when we went to Malaysia with the boys, we left Scout with them, and I really had peace of mind because she would have the attention from NaiNai and YeYe ALL to herself. My MIL speaks only Chinese and Cantonese, so I always jokingly (but very very thankfully!!) say the kids are at Chinese camp when they stay with their grandparents. And indeed, we all agree that Scout is speaking a LOT more Chinese than either of the boys at her age!
Before we left for Bali in January, I was a little apprehensive about how they were going to manage with school runs and all, but a few days before I left, my MIL called me to say that she would stay over while my FIL would come during the day to help entertain them. My helper would continue doing the laundry, and other household duties etc. Thankfully their schools are all within walking distance, but knowing that she was getting geared up really put my mind at ease. Often my BIL and SIL will also chip in and bring the kids out on the weekends, from Sentosa to ice skating, to McD’s and everything else that kids love to do. We are so grateful for one and all!
Earlier this month, we again went on a couples retreat (with 2 other couples), to Italy, where for over a week we were able to escape the ordinary life, and feasted our eyes with masterpieces and ancient relics, emptied our wallets but filled our bellies, hearts and souls. We learnt so much – from the locals, and from each other, and from the many holy places we visited. We were also blessed to “run” into Pope Francis (and catch Andrea Bocceli and other great artistes singing at the same event!), so I think it’s safe to say that it was time well spent apart from the kids, to catch a breather while exploring new things, and a trip that will be etched in our minds for the rest of our lives. I also noticed how a week away was really much more relaxing for everyone (even though some still had to attend to work matters on and off) than just an evening out, although those are good too!
I’m pretty sure if we didn’t have kids we’d be traveling a lot more, to more exotic places and have done a lot more than we can do now. But I’m grateful we even get the chance to leave the kids behind, I know not all parents get to! Sure, some time is taken away from our young children, but I am with them the whole day so I feel less reluctant to leave them than if I were a full time working mum. Who’s to know what will happen in the future, how long or how we will live? We like taking some time out to travel while we are still (relatively) young, and relatively able bodied. We have already planned our next abandonment, oops!!! 😉
Do any of you abandon (heh) your kids for couple holiday time too?
Click here to read more on how other Mummies spend their time recharging!
Next up on the blog train is Mummy Lynn! Do hop over to read all about what “me time” means to her. Lynn is a SAHM who loves to spend time in her kitchen cooking and baking. Apart from that, she also devotes her time to planning and creating teaching resources for her daughter, Faith, and to organize playdates for her. She believes that play matters for children and adults alike and tries to spend time in the outdoors as often as she can.